Over the years, I have wished myself different. More confident, more logical and less emotional, as that is where many of the sins I bring to confession stem from. Anger, impatience, lack of self-discipline, etc...
However, I realize that what God has wanted me to do was to just love myself. So simple! Not love myself more than God, nor my spouse, nor my children or family, but enough to forgive, accept, and work with the "clay" of myself that I have been given here for this brief time on earth. I can alter my outward actions and I can change those things and deny what will lead me to sin, but I have not been able to eradicate the core of myself, that which I have always thought lacking. But I was made in the image of God and that is not what He wished in creating me this way. He had a plan for me here, just as I am.
We all sin. We all suffer. Some of us suffer in a more obvious way. Some of us suffer in only the deepest depths of our souls. But, we do all suffer in some way. That is the simple nature of humanity.
In the depths of myself, I want to be a good and loving woman, a generous neighbor, pleasing to God. Every morning I wake up with the intention of living up to that person. It is the hurdle of fighting my humanity all the day long that is the real challenge.
But, there is hope at the end of every day. For Jesus IS Mercy. The Sacraments are with us still. The day is filled with "ora et labora" for my family, which brings me joy. I have been shown so many times, how God can show us His Divine Intervention, even in our small and simple needs. To remember a heart of gratitude for the things we have.
Finding the Joy in the Simple.
And as Bob Carlisle put into lyrics: "..We fall down, We get up, And the Saints are just the sinners who fall down, And get up...."
1 comment:
*tears* Just what I needed to hear today. Thank You.
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