Catholic National Reader Goes 'Pulp Fiction'

Well.....maybe not 'pulp fiction', per se, but my children (5 of 6 at this point) have all learned to read primarily through an old series of hardback books called "Catholic National Readers".

The Primer/One is always a favorite to the older children as the younger child is reading. They speak of remembering the reading of passages with fondness and enjoy hearing them even more that when they had read it aloud.

I think that the books are wonderfully challenging and the stories are full of nostalgia and "proper" English that I realize we have somewhat let go of, so the phrasing of some passages are confusing, though they are actually written properly.

Though most lessons are mostly benign and teach morals, there is one particular Lesson that my children have always read with a mixture of either horror, disgust, or hilarity....sometimes all of the above. (Hilarity is usually reserved for the veterans of this passage.)

That is Lesson XXXVII.

I am sure that, as the original book was published in the 1890's, that rodents were even more of a problem than the random assortment of rogue mice in a home or rats that proliferate within the various sewer systems.

However, this certain lesson has become the anticipated cornerstone for our older children when they know it is soon to be read by the younger sibling.

With an eagerness that would raise a brow in most, my graduates of the CNR Primer watch the reading child intently for their particular reaction to the passage.

I admit more inwardly to be slightly nauseous at the enlightening lesson, but I do allow this excitement and ceasing of all other activities and studies to...once again...relish the words of the author on this particular day.

Perhaps the author of this passage had a rough night with such rodents and thought to take his vexation out in words of alertness and caution as to the dastardly deeds of the four-legged pests.

Nevertheless, I shall keep you in suspense no longer......here is Lesson XXXVII of the Catholic National Primer.

" ...1.We all know what a rat is, or we think we do. Yet how few there are who can tell much about it.

2. We know that a rat has very sharp teeth, black eyes, and a long tail, and that it has its nest in a hole. But we do not know much more.

3. Then let us hear what a learned man says about the rat and its ways.

4. He tells us in one of his books, that he once saw two rats steal and egg. And this is how they did it.

5. One rat lay down on its back, and took hold of the egg with its paws. Then the other took hold of the first one's tail, and pulled it along, egg and all, till they came to their nest, when in went the egg, and the rats after it.

6. The same man saw three or four rats steal some sweet oil. The oil was in a bottle with a long, narrow neck, and Mr. Rat could not get at it.

7. But he did not mean to give it up. So one rat ran his tail into the neck of the bottle, then pulled it out, and let the other rats lick the oil off his tail.

8. After a little while, the first rat gave way to a second, and then took his turn at licking the oil."

...Well, I'm hungry!