On Maternity Clothes...

The days finally came when I could not wait to get those maternity clothes on. I shopped and loved having a reason to go through the baby department stores and pick out all those wonderful items to show that I am carrying a child (first baby, you remember!). I recall almost trying to push my belly out a little more to make myself look more pregnant. It had something to do with a mixture of hormones and bathroom cleaning chemicals. It was a difficult feat at eight weeks, also, but I wanted to look pregnant.
So, there I was, walking in the mall. Testing my waddle and hoping the glow was showing, I perused maternity clothes aisle after aisle. There I am, feeling better...finally...and taking on the maternity clothes section on like a storm.
Being observant, I read the labels carefully.
Buy the size you normally wear. We have adjusted the rest for the growth during your pregnancy.
Oh, the inhumanity!
Wonderful, I think to myself after reading the label! I will gain the twenty to twenty-five recommended pounds and these will fit perfectly even after baby comes. I mean I lost a few pounds from the morning sickness.
Oh, the disillusion of an imbalanced woman!
Well, Mike and I put a good chunk of money down on my complete maternity wardrobe… Why not, we decided, they will last the entire pregnancy and if we have another child we can use them again.
To swiftly conclude this tragedy, I ended up gaining a FEW more pounds than recommended and those maternity clothes were never seen or heard from again after month 6. (Cue "Twilight Zone" music......
An aside: A wise woman once said this: With your first pregnancy, you cannot wait to fit into your maternity clothes. With your second, you wait as long as possible to wear maternity clothes. With your third....what do you mean?
Your maternity clothes ARE your clothes.
Yeah....that's me.