Well....I look back down the aisle as I threw the offending wad of brown paper into the front pew...sorry, Dad....and 3 of my kiddos are carting down a garland to tie across the top of the kneeler that Chris and Steve will kneel on. My main job is to take some ribbon and tie it around the garland so it will not fall. I mean, how hard can it be to tie a ribbon?
Hehe....
Well, it turned into me staring at 4 or 5 ribbons thinking, "Oh, great! Which ribbons am I supposed to use?" Of course, I am fumbling around with all the ribbons and trying to "test" them to see if one is an emergency pull on it, or something. AND everyone is watching me, the woman (who has six children and is fully competent) try to tie a simple ribbon around a slab of evergreen so that the bride can come down the aisle. What I ended up creating was a stiff ribbon that would give Alfalfa a run for his money. There is this pretty garland and a stiff white ribbon standing at attention. Oh, well!
Yeah...that's why they pay me the big bucks!
Well, Chris sweeps down the aisle all beautiful in her dress. My main job is to make sure my sister is not strangled, eaten, swallowed, or injured by the train on her dress. Let me tell you...this train was beautiful, but it ran one quarter of the way down the church.
Okay, I tell myself, go straighten her train.
I do the 50 yard dash and have to actually run on the train because the aisle is narrow and my own dress is so full. Of course, when I get the dress straightened, I have to run on the dress again to get to my position and....smile!
This process was repeated many many times. Once, I actually was standing on the dress and my sister went to walk and was jerked back. (I can only imagine that what she was wishing me could not be repeated in the church).
So, the readings are done and I look back to see my two sons so decked out in their tuxes...completely asleep. One of the boys is actually hanging over the pew into the aisle. Then, Katie let out a loud toot of gas that only a baby can get away with. I overhear my brother-in-law say, "Good job!" ...awesome.
The vows were soon repeated and the church burst out to welcome my sis and her new husband. Everyone commented on how nice everyone looked and....."weren't you busy".....
It wasn't till we were on the way to the reception that I realize that I have written no matron of honor speech for the reception. GULP! I beg my husband and Becca and Arthur to help me come up with something because even though my husband and I worked for hours on coming up with something nice, all we had was....
"TO THE BRIDE AND GROOM!"
...awesome...
So, we are all frantically coming up with everything from Michael Jackson song lyrics to Dr. Seuss rhymes. I quickly scribble a few words from the heart on the back of a sheet of stickers because, of course, this is all I can find to write on while in a van and breastfeeding. So, the time comes and the Best man gives a long, involved, and so engaging speech. Like five minutes worth...
Then it's my turn.
I pull out my sheet of Strawberry Shortcake stickers and take the mike, all the while wondering how my 30 second speech is even going to be close to that speech.
Gulp!!
"TO THE BRIDE AND GROOM!"
(smile)
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